A (bad) Night to Remember

Like any typical weekday, I usually like to end it with cooking up some dinner, shower, then bed, but since it was the birthday of two ladies that I know, I was compelled to go out and celebrate.

Twiddle Dee and Dum decided that the best way to celebrate their birthday's would be to drink at the local bars downtown. First bar was lightly populated, didn't help that it was a Tuesday night, so we all decided to change venues. The second bar had a little more people and I even met some other girls that I know (math 100a and friend). Math 100a told me that she and her friend were going to the karaoke bar just next door. I think that twiddle Dee and Dum must have heard them and soon decided that they will move the party to said bar.

I enter the bar and quickly find Math100a and friend and have a nice conversation on song selection, drinks, and drugs... I then realize that I myself do not have a drink and I quickly excuse myself and make my way to the bar. This is where the night went wrong...

While at the bar I see a guy (FuckHead) who just looks sad and in the dumps, feeling bad for him I decided to say hi. His eyes quickly light up as if it were Christmas day. I have a quick conversation with him which leads to me forgetting about ordering my drink. Fuckhead offers to buy me a drink and I gladly accept. Who would deny a free drink? Not even the pope!

So I decide to reward Fuckhead with some more of my time in exchange for the free drink. FuckHead soon give me $20 to buy any drink I want and he gets up and goes to the bathroom. I use the whole $20 and buy drinks for twiddle Dee and Dum and of course one for myself.

So of course I keep chatting with FuckHead since he is now funding my night of fun. Every now and then I would excuse myself and go chat with Math100a and friend so I can keep a connection with them and I throw in some flirting as a bonus.

It's almost last call and by this time I've drank a shit load, all thanks to FuckHead. I then find out that FuckHead is gay but respects that I am straight and confesses that he wouldn't even try anything on me cause he sees that I'm all about women. No Pee Pee vs Pee Pee action for me.
So being from a city of different kinds of people, the news of him being gay is no big deal. I still saw him as a cool dude at this point.

It's last call and I realize Twiddle Dee and Dum have left. So the only ones left in the bar that I know are Math100a and friend, and FuckHead. I realize I'm drunk and decide that the best course of action is to just sleep in my car and I didn't want to be that asshole friend who calls super late to get a ride home. I also didn't want to leave my car. I head outside and quickly start chatting with Math100a, we exchange numbers and promise to see each other again.

FuckHead comes over and asks me how I was getting home. I told him I was going to go sleep on my car and then I would just drive home when I'm sober enough. He then proceeds to tell me that he has an extra bed in him hotel room that is 2 blocks away. At first I'm against it but the thought of sleeping on a bed instead of my car was looking like the better choice. It took sometime but he eventually convinced me and also promised that he wouldn't try anything....Fucker!

We get back his room and he tells me which bed is mine and he gets in his own bed and proceeds to get ready for bed. So I'm thinking, "cool he actually is a cool dude". He turns off the light and I wait for him to go to sleep. I then deem it safe to pass out.

The nightmare starts....

5:45am

I wake up to feeling his finger on my pants just above my genitals. I had no idea what the fuck was going on but I quickly realize that this FuckHead was trying to cop a feel. Not knowing if he was a axe murderer I quickly run different scenarios in my head to what would be the best way to stop the situation and not have to commence mortal combat. I decide to do the yawn and stretch maneuver followed with a re-positioning. This all took the span of half a second In my mind to come up with from the second I realize what was happening.

The yawn itself was enough to send FuckHead scurrying back to his bed as if nothing happened. I was now in crisis mode. DEFCON FUCKING 5! TREAT LEVEL RED! BATTLE STATIONS!

I'm so fucking pissed that he just tried that bullshit on me, so I decide to play it off as if nothing has happened and I position myself that I'm looking right at him with one eye open at all times. The pillow was just right that it obstructed his view of my face. I also had my left hand under the heavy comforter, clinching part of the comforter close to my next so if he were to attack with a sharp object I could use the thickness of the comforter as a defensive tactic. I also had my elbow anchored on the bed in a way that I can use it for a quick jump away of striking distance. Then I also had my right arm bent as if I had my hand under my head but really it was balled into a fist for the sole purpose of a quick counterstrike.

I was now watching him...waiting for my alarm clock to go off so I may have an easy reason to leave the room with out the chance of combat. 15mins to go.

6:15am...

FuckHead gets up and stands along my bed... He is looking at my face to see if I'm awake. I'm looking straight at him with my eyes closed enough to hide that I'm awake. FuckHead makes his move...he goes for the one hand slip under the covers. I counter with repositioning/stretch/eye scratch and a what going on.

FuckHead was a touch away from being on the news as a victim. He makes up some excuse that he has a hangover and just got up to stretch... STRIKE 2 FUCKHEAD! Try again and it's game fucking on, I now suspect that FuckHead is not an axe murderer but just a FUCKHEAD.

He goes back to his bed and I just keep watching. Just waiting for him to try again so I may quench my blood thirst. Just steady watching as I see him look over to see if I was asleep again. I see him move his covers off himself...holy fuck he's really going to try again. In my head I know that FuckHead is about to be in some major fucking pain. Then my alarm goes off....I quickly get the fuck out of bed and leave the hotel room. Madder the. Hell, couldn't believe that this FuckHead just tried to do.

Lesson learned. Don't got home with FUCKHEADS.


Crazy fucking night. Damn I really need to watch it before I do get forced butt sex upon me.

Rico Out. Live Dangerously.